Hit by a bus

Coming out from the general anaesthetic was a pretty dark time for me following the PVI ablation.

A vague memory of the spiral vents of the excellent view of the cath lab ceiling came and went.

I need to cough, I REALLY need to cough.

I am awake, I can see – well as well as I can without glasses on. Nurses. Monitor. Good god, I feel like shit.

Senses start to kick in, and I remember the anaesthetist saying that I would wake up in the same place but not remember, they would remove pipes from my throat, and I would be wheeled through to recovery.

Systems check.
– I can see.
– I can hear.
– No one seems all that alarmed about things.
– Nothing appears to super hurt.
So far so good.

Okay any red flags. REALLY need to cough. Sweet Jesus – AM I ON THE SUN RIGHT NOW? How can I be this hot doing nothing? I appear to have been put here by some helpful giant with no comprehension of articulation…. I could REALLY do with moving my shoulders, hips and legs.

One cough. Meaty, and productive, and an attempt to move my hips and all hell unleashes.

People are now pushing on what is clearly the immediately clear sharp and present wound in my upper leg / groin. This is a real bonus. “Please, do this more.”
Attempts to move to stop this are not greeted with encouragement. I think… I am going…. to puke.    ….ahh my old friend – the kidney dish….  in the ENTIRE history of mankind has anyone in danger of hurling ever flailed around an attempt to find a receptacle barely an inch deep made of reformed card? I SERIOUSLY doubt it.

STOP trying to look down. DONT cough. I can feel a fan now – sweet.

I can feel people picking at a dressing, more pushing, lots of mopping. Could really do with moving that leg now.

Words cannot articulate how low I feel right now…. but I am starting to feel more human. Groggy. Rambling. Hot*. Uncomfortable. Unable to move.

The clock says a half hour has passed – I simply cannot account for the time.

People come, people go, I get a drink.

I have glasses again. I can see things. That makes a hell of a difference. Calmer.

Feeling like shit.

An hour passes in the blink of an eye… felt like about five minutes.

Back to my room.

Three further hours of lay still, no moving.

For a small hole in my leg, some pipes down my throat, and what I assumed would be painless works inside my chest – I am really really not enjoying myself right now.

Note to self – advice to others – the operation was a dream, but coming around – sweet rotating bubble wrap trousers of Christ – that was an ordeal.

Note to others – this passed pretty quickly – and within days the wound and the external trauma of the operation was pretty much ‘gone’. Amazing. Modern medicine is amazing.


*Hot makes me nuts. Seriously. I do no do hot.

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